Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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