hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
