You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
