After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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