it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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