I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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