and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
