I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
