Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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