I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
