: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
