Im at strip club and am horny
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
