I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize