I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
home. puking in laundry basket.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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