There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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