If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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