Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can't turn off my feet"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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