that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
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The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
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I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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