She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
