i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
People with herpes should wear stickers.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
