just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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