Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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