i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i came on her dog
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
