he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
