id be glad to
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
