she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
