That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
