Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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