Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Randomize
