this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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