apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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