I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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