Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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