Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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