Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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