maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
