He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
