he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
