Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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