i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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