im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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