Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
