id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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