my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
