This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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