Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
