I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
