Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
