omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
