i jhust puked up my retainher.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
