This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
