lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
only you would photoshop your dick
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
