Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize