the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
