Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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