i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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