i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Randomize