Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
